eclipsescythe:

leplusgrandlivredumonde:

organizedstudy:

rachelstudieslanguages:

hearth-fucker:

meradorm:

thatlittleegyptologist:

dospunk:

cleanertheseus:

gingerblivet:

bending-sickle:

eatingcroutons:

like-moonlight-through-the-pines:

serethiel-is-hufflepuffed:

elvenherbivore:

writingcyan:

lunestael:

sapphicpunk:

you-had-me-at-e-flat-major:

chopin-demonium:

kalmobotti:

shrineart:

space-transgressor:

spanishskulduggery:

lalexicographe:

whosaprettypolyglot:

lingasms:

commandervimes:

lingasms:

i say we start a meme where we take jokes that don’t work in other languages and translate them without explanation maybe only tagging with the original language and confuse the heck out of everyone on tumblr who’s not in on the meme like

in italian we say “prince light blue” (prince azzurro) instead of “prince charming” and i just saw a joke that in english would be “if you can’t find your prince charming, the solution is to take a random dude from the street and paint him”

what’s the difference between a stapler and a sewing machine? a stapler staples and a sewing machine doesn’t

i take it back, these are still funny in a completely different way

#what does the king of the spiders do? he reigns#I forget how to say it in French but it’s still my favourite joke

this was one of mine omg it’s one of my favourite ones i’ve ever made ever

What’s the strongest cake in the world? Mike Cake.

What do you call a fish that’s a thief? A sea bass.

What’s the difference between a cow and sheet metal ? None, both of them have milk

I don’t even care if don’t know what the joke is these are hilarious.

Boy pig said to the girl pig: “Let’s suffer.”

What happens when the sheep come to the grass field? Strawberry.

What do you call a cybercriminal cow? Minced meat.

what does leonardo dicaprio eat?

leonardo eats sandwiches 

whats a melon you cannot eat?

an idiot

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. What comes after twenty? Police.

You can’t piano a piano, but you can lean on an elephant.

What’s a pale mammoth? Helmut

Oh this is absolutely amazing!!

‘A fallow deer to another fallow deer:
- let’s play hide and seek
- please, no

What type of bread can’t be eaten? Propane.

What does a bee do at the gym? Zumba.

When is the best time to eat seafood? Wednesday.

What do an orange & an elehpant have in common? They both peel;. 

These all sound like those jokes 4 year olds make up before they fully grasp the concept of a joke

- 3 breads and 2 tarts tatin, as usual

- Good memory!

- Easy sir: bread, bread, bread, tarte tatin, tarte tatin

The biggest eggs in the animal kingdom do not belong to the elephant but to the ostrich, which is why he wrote such slow waltzes. 

What does a fish do?

Nothing.

Q- ‘what is that called?’

A- ‘you don’t turn it, it can turn by itself’

Where does Simba sleep?

In the swimming pool

Mr. and Mrs. Theblanketsareitchy have a daughter. What’s her name?

Sandra

A bee lands on a calendar. The day is sunny.

Q: a fruit is more than one colour. what would we call it?
A: we peel it with a knife!